People who have answers for themselves, who are intellectual and smart, who are creative and can put it out there for other people to see and understand make me feel really shitty to be honest. And it’s not even the gender that matters; it’s just the fact that they’re so full of ideas to put out there and actually give themselves something to do. I know that they didn’t just pull shit out of their ass, or maybe they did, but I mean I’m aware that they actually worked physically and learned to reach the point where they are. But maybe that’s what I’m jealous of…the passion and the drive that keeps them busy throughout the day and their imagination is like, never ending. It’s like their just born to do something and you can see their gonna have a good ass life just by the way people act around them and how they find so much excitement in what they do and you just get this enlightening positive vibe from them that makes you almost want to enjoy life while you can. I lost it somewhere. The passion and I used to be so creative and I loved reading books and putting my work out there for others to see or just enjoy little things. I was a organized, neat freak who was so full of curiosity and took so much pride in the way that I thought and could perceive things. Little by little, the only things I became good at was failing. You know, you grow up and you forget what matters and life becomes bland and boring and wasted and just not appreciated the way it’s supposed to be. You just become a bum. You know, just a stupid dumb person who is boring and careless and sits on the couch all day, watching tv, complaining about why things never work the way you want them to. You’re not doing shit for what you want so no wonder you’re lost. And then your parents…they don’t even know who you are yet they expect so much out of you. I don’t know…I mean, how do you just suddenly start to hate things so much? It’s like one heartbreak and oh their goes the rest of your life down the drain.
unmitigatedhope said:
ah your posts always resonate w/ me. any changes for the better? even if just a little?
unmitigatedhope liked this
royalbeauty26 liked this
mahammyyxoxo posted this
